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Common side effects of cancer are people staring, people\u2019s projection of pity, their awkward questions of your survival rate, and little kids asking why you don\u2019t have any hair.\u00a0 While it is always stressed how important first impressions are, when you have cancer and walk into a room it never matters what clothes you are wearing or how good your makeup looks, the first thing people notice is your shiny bald head and face featuring no eyebrows.<\/p>\n
Before having my head shaved I didn\u2019t really care what people thought of me just like most teenagers.\u00a0 Cancer put this mindset to the ultimate test.\u00a0 Upon shaving my head, I never hid under a wig.\u00a0 I displayed my bald head to the world.\u00a0 I could see the stares; however, I steadfastly clung to the thought I didn\u2019t care what people thought.\u00a0 I forced myself to believe it.<\/p>\n
While it usually didn\u2019t hurt to see adults look at me, it definitely stung when I walked down the halls of my high school.\u00a0 My peers would stop talking while I walked by as if I was a pariah.\u00a0 I knew no one thought of me as pretty.\u00a0 No one would ask me out for a date because everyone knew I might not be around long.\u00a0 My time might be limited.\u00a0 Sometimes at my lowest emotional moment, as I felt my self-esteem deflated my path would cross with a stranger who would blow it back up.\u00a0 These people I like to call my hidden angels.<\/p>\n
These angels seemed to know just when to say \u201cyou\u2019re beautiful.\u201d\u00a0 Others went as far as paying for my meals at restaurants.\u00a0 My angels never revealed themselves.\u00a0 My angels gave me flowers in the middle of the grocery store.\u00a0 One angel I will never forget came up to me and my family in McDonalds with a newspaper folded in his hand.\u00a0 He had it turned to an advertisement displaying a vase of flowers.\u00a0 He looked at me and said, \u201cThese are for you.\u00a0 I can tell you\u2019ve had a hard time recently.\u201d\u00a0 I turned to my dad to show him and when I looked back to thank the man, he was gone.\u00a0 He had vanished.<\/p>\n
Angels don\u2019t stick around to ask the painfully old questions like \u201cwhat are your chances?\u201d or \u201chow long have you been in treatment?\u201d\u00a0 My angels are special because they know just what to do and when they are needed.\u00a0 My angels embraced me in their wings and made me feel whole.\u00a0 They took away my pain.\u00a0 They made me feel beautiful and special.\u00a0 Each angel\u2019s kindness reminded me there were plenty of beautiful people in the world.\u00a0 Once you have felt the loving kiss of your angel, you cannot receive such a treasure without wanting to pass it along.<\/p>\n
Now, I have made it out of the dark tunnel a cancer diagnosis throws you down.\u00a0 I have been given a second chance at life and I want to be an angel.\u00a0 Each Christmas and Easter morning my dad and I bring cakes and cookies donated by Publix to my cancer unit.\u00a0 It is a small act, but angels don\u2019t have to do big things.\u00a0 Thanks to my amazing doctors and nurses, I plan to spend many more years being the angel in other people\u2019s lives.\u00a0 I am always on the lookout for the opportunity to hold a child\u2019s hand with cancer and say \u201cYou are so beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
-Katielee Kaner<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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