I am an interesting case. At least that’s how someone once described me when I was six. That someone was an attending physician and he was speaking to a group of resident doctors, outside my room in the P.I.C.U. at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. I didn’t hear him call me that, because I was still incubated and heavily sedated, and attached to no less than eight machines at the time. My mom heard him though and it upset her. Now more than ten years later of being a Cancer survivor, I realize why people find my story so interesting. Turns out, I am an enigma. The Cancer I had was uncommon and aggressive, and mostly found in adolescents. Mom always said that I did everything ahead of schedule. I spoke young. I walked young. I even understood that kids can die, when I was very young. This understanding can really mess with a kid. I am lucky though, because I was never treated as a sick child, so I never acted as a sick child.
When all my hair fell out, my parents bought me a wig, so that I could look somewhat like the other first graders. I however considered it more of an accessory than a necessity. One time during treatment, I was at a party with a bounce house. After bouncing myself into a sweaty and nauseous mess, I hopped out of the bounce house, whipped my wig off, and handed it to my mother who was standing on the other side of the yard. Apparently, this caused many gasps and adults trying to hide their shock. Some of the guests didn’t know I had Cancer, and nobody had ever conveyed to me that we shouldn’t just fling our wigs off when we get hot.
As I lived in the hospital every three weeks for a year, to receive chemotherapy, I never knew that many people did not expect me to live. They were right to think that I may die, because my friend Jasmine, who was also six, and also had Ewing’s Sarcoma, died toward the end of the year of my treatment. Being a survivor has been a blessing and a burden at times. The blessing is obvious. I’m still here. Totally rebuilt inside, but alive. The burden comes when people reduce me to my diagnosis. I am more than a Cancer survivor. I am a teenager who loves going to the beach with girlfriends. I am a Nutella addict. I am a lover of all things to do with soccer. I take pride at beating boys in ping pong in gym class. I can’t imagine loving anyone the way I love my little brother, Braden. And most of all, I believe that I was put on this earth to be a pediatric oncology nurse.
Being a nurse is more than taking nursing classes and passing tests. It’s about seeing your patients as real people with individual needs, and not just as cases. I believe that my experiences will allow me to be the kind of nurse who can change Tegaderm bandages, and flush Broviac lines, and then follow up with an impromptu hospital room dance party. I’ll treat my patients as kids who happen to have Cancer. Don’t get me wrong, Cancer sucks! Daily shots, losing your hair and surgery are not fun. But it’s about the overall experience. I still go back to the floor where I was treated at RWJUH to visit and when I walk through the door, my nurses greet me like Norm from Cheers. I hope to get to be on their side of the door someday, and teach my patients that with hope, all things are possible.
If awarded the Faith Hope and Love Jesus, Inc. College Scholarship I would apply the funds to my outstanding tuition and/or books bill in my upcoming fall semester in order to lower my loan amount. Thank you in advance for your consideration.
~Mikayla Helmond